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    Save the Whales!

    Save the Whale!
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    Arizona Mirage?

    They Grow Funny Things in the Arizona Sun.
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    The Art Exhibit A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a painting that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle...
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    Once a Low-Baller, Always a Low-Baller!

    Low-Baller Pressure Washers turned to Low-Baller Road Painters.
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    My New Horse.

    I got me a new horse this week. They breed 'em in the Canadian Rockies. Regards,
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    Famous Proverbs.

    A few years ago I had a chance to visit the country of China. I made a point to see one of the greatest man made structures ever built in the Great Wall of China. Upon closer inspection of the structure there seemed to be what in America we would call graffitti written in places. As one that is...
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    My Wife Wants to Sell My Monkey!

    She Wants to Sell My Monkey! A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool...
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    Radio Shack.

    Do these guys at Radio Shack ever get on your nerves, asking you for a bunch of personal data when you're just there to buy something as simple as a couple AA batteries? I think we should inconvenience these people as much as they do us. A while ago I was in Mason buying a printer cable adaptor...
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    Why Men are Not Secretaries.

    Why Men are Not Secretaries. Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife: "Someone from the Guyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst beer is normal."
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    Bad Day #2!

    Picture tells the story:
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    Jack Schitt and family.

    WHO IS JACK SCHITT??? The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer...
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    Airline Stories.

    All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said...
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    E-Mail to Wrong Address.

    After being nearly snowbound for 2 weeks, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, FL, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together. Unfortunately...
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    What a Difference 30 Years Makes!

    1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund 1972: KEG 2002: EKG 1972: Acid rock 2002: Acid reflux 1972: Moving to California because it's cool 2002...
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    Sharing A little old couple walked slowly into McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking. "Look, there is a...
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    Pharmacy A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman...
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    Anniversary Sex.

    Anniversary Sex. An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love...
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    Dating My Daughter.

    Dating My Daughter. I'm sure many of you have daughters that are getting to the age of dating. If they have already started, it's still not too late to apply the same dating rules that I used at my house. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a...
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    Little Boy.

    Subject: Little Boy Several weekends ago, I was rushing around trying to do some shopping. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the weather right then. It was dark, cold and wet in the parking lot. As I was loading my car up, I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I...
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    How Fast Will I Get in Trouble for This?

    These are not necessarily my opinions, but I still have a sense of humor. Subject: Women How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford...