OK, it's time for a few good jokes!

[Pete @ Sun Brite]

I think it's time we all got a few chuckles. We need to keep it clean, but you should post your favorite joke for the rest of us to enjoy. Actually, I don't know very many clean ones myself, so I guess I'm looking for some. But I'll start you off with one of my bad ones:

Two Southern Belles were talking about their different vacations. One of them has just returned from California and tells the other that there are men in California who make love to other men.
The other replies. "My, my! And what do they call those people?"

The first one says " They call them homosexuals. And you may also want to know that they also have women out there that make love to other women, and they call them lesbians.To top it off, they also have men out there that like to use their tongues on womens' ... Oh, lawdy!

The other replys, "My God, what do you call those men?"

She says, "Well, honey, I really don't know what they call them. But I called mine "Precious".

 

[debi]

thanx for the joke, Pete, its been a long time since anyone posted a joke

 

[ron]

How come Bin Ladin carries a piece of shit in his pocket?
photo ID!

 

[Jon]

Hey all, I enjoy jokes, both clean and dirty but lets keep those posted here clean please.

No swearing, no jokes that put down others lifestyles or are totally negative to one sex or the other.

instead of S_ _ T, use the word crap. Instead of F_ _ k use another word to describe it.

I will edit out those words and replace them.

No I am not a prude, far from it but we do have others that might feel offended by some of what is said.


(If Dan Flynn feels I am out of line here I am sure he will let me know, either by deleting this post or Emailing me to change it)

 

[Michael T]

More Jokes

Finally!! Some Taliban jokes!

Q: What do Kabul and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing,.... yet.

Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Why does the Afghanistan Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.

Q: What do Osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming
from!

Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of
poop?
A: The bucket

Q: How do you stop a Taliban tank ?
A: Shoot the guys pushing it.

 

[Michael T]

More Jokes

I cant help myself these are getting worse.


Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead
raccoons.

The stewardess looks at them and says,

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per
passenger."

 

[Mike Hughes]

Jon,

I agree that some may be offended.........but, if you are offended........dont read this post!! Thats all there is to it. Lets change the subject line to read something to that effect ........some kind of warning.............then, turn 'em loose.

No one wants to read a bunch of words that beat around the bush.........just say it. Its worse then watching an R rated movie on ABC......

My opinion.

 

[Jon]

Mike I know all to well here, a lot of the jokes I used to post offended others, why I stopped posting them.

Sure I can take any joke and not be offended but I was thinking of all the others here.

 

[Mike Hughes]

When I said "if you dont like it, dont read it" I was referring to the others........not you.


How 'bout we just post a poll on the subject and be done with it? Let the masses decide.......

 

[Beth]

Three words you guys....

FREEDOM OF SPEECH

Post in the heading "may be offensive" and put it up. If people don't like it, they don't have to read it.

Just my feeling on the subject.

Beth

 

[Jon]

Why oh why does Beth always have the last word here?

Think I need to put a [fox] in the hen house Beth knows all to well I think only good of her, if she has ever had a beef to take up with me she is free to either say it here or Email me yet I think she knows where I am coming from.

 

[ghouchu]

may be offensive to some readers

i'm with mike and beth as far as jokes that might offend due to the use of "bad" language--the expression that leaps to my mind is "f**k 'em if they can't take a joke." i'm inclined to believe that censure is more appropriate than censorship in governing the content of jokes. for example, i find that folks who tell jokes that are bigoted or rely on pernicious stereotypes of the historically oppressed are generally jackasses, and i will feel free to say so, as i hope others will. on the other hand, jokes made at the expense of lawyers, doctors, junior leaguers,democrats, republicans, particular religions, blondes--any group whose members are self-selected--are, to my mind, fair game.

why don't baptists screw standing up? people might think they're dancing.

what's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? a doberman.

my point is that everyone will have different sensibilities, none of which can be considered right or wrong in any absolute sense. by condemning the jokes we consider over the line, we will establish a rough standard that will be followed by those who desire to be welcomed and accepted by the group. those refusing to adhere to that standard can be censured, ignored, and/or ostracized.

why do avon ladies walk funny? lipsstick.

in my experience, it's a pretty poor joke that doesn't have the potential to offend somebody. let's have fun!

richard

 

[Aplus]

What do you call 2 gay Bobs?

Oral Roberts.

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Did ya hear about the 2 gay Irishmen?

Michael Fitzpatrick, & Patrick Fitzmichael.

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Why do deaf people make good gynecologists?

They know how to read lips.

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Why is 77 better than 69?

You get 8 more.

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What do you call a baby that was born in the backseat of a car with an automatic transmission?

A shiftless bastard.

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How can you tell a virgin from a whore?

One uses vaseline, the other uses polygrip.

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