Little bits of humor

#1
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or
where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter
how bad it is." - Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport
for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like
black pimps." - Tiger Woods

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The
other eight are unimportant." - George Burns

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a
good partner, you'd better have a good hand." -
Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a
date on Saturday night." - Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which
increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief
among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." -
Lynn Lavner

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can
fake a whole relationship." - Sharon Stone

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-
bitch." - Jack Nicholson

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip
out a man's genitals through his wallet." - Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a
place." - Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that women
are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." -
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that
many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the
problem?" - Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because
men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody
naked." - Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman
I don't like and just give her a house." - Rod Stewart

Last but not least:

"You know 'that look' women get when they want sex?
Me neither." - Steve Martin
 

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